This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon, March 2, 2011 - Pro-football player Michael Oher describes much of his life these days as a bonus, and he vows that he will never take any of it for granted.
"I will never wake up and say, 'This is what was supposed to happen to me.' Or, 'This is what I deserve.' Because I don't think that," said Oher, 24, whose hard road out of the Memphis inner-city ghetto has been well-documented in a series of books and the popular movie "The Blind Side."
Oher, now an offensive tackle with the Baltimore Ravens, graduated from the University of Mississippi and was a first-round draft choice in 2009.
"All I wanted to do growing up was not get caught up in the cycle: going to school, dropping out, drugs, gangs," said Oher, who spoke with the Beacon by telephone this week. "All I wanted was to have a decent roof over my head and to be able to provide for myself and put clothes on my back. I was going to be successful -- if I was working two or three minimum-wage jobs, being a garbage man, or anything to just not be caught up in that environment, that cycle."
Oher will be in St. Louis Thursday to discuss "I Beat the Odds: From Homelessness to the Blind Side and Beyond" (Gotham, $26), an autobiography he wrote with Don Yaeger, a former Sports Illustrated editor.
To say that Oher's life is now an open book is an understatement. His story, first told by Michael Lewis in his 2006 book "The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game," inspired the 2009 movie that won Sandra Bullock the Oscar for best actress. Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy, the well-to-do Memphis couple who eventually took in Oher, wrote another version -- "In a Heartbeat" -- published last year.
But Oher gets the chance to speak for himself in "I Beat the Odds," and he emphasizes that it was his own determination that drove his survival and success. He also fills in some blanks, delving into his childhood and later struggles in foster care. He is honest -- but always gracious -- even when discussing those who let him down as a kid.
Oher is hard on his mother. He doesn't excuse her addiction to crack or her repeated abandonment of her 12 children, leaving them with no food or locking them out of whatever house they happened to be living it at the time. Still, he writes that she could be generous and warm when she was off the drugs, and he describes a loyalty to his siblings that grew from their shared survival. He details the overall failure of the foster care and education systems, while hailing those individual social workers and teachers who made a difference in his life.
"Being angry is not going to get you very far," Oher said about his perspective on the past. "If I was to dwell on those things, I wouldn't be here today. You've got to put some things behind you. Move on."
Oher said he hasn't thought much about his future after football, but he knows that he wants to be a role model for children and might pursue a career in broadcasting. He acknowledged that being an author was not a childhood goal.
"It's kind of crazy," he said about writing the book. And then he added politely, "I hope you enjoyed it."
Here are more excerpts from the interview:
Are you living the American dream?
Oher: I can say that I'm very blessed. I've worked hard to get to this point. I have a lot more road to cover, so I have a lot more to do. It took me a long time to get here, and it was a lot of struggles, but I'm living a better life than I did before. The American dream? People have their own idea of that. I'm doing OK."
You write that you hope your story can help other kids beat the odds, too. What needs to change for that to happen?
Oher: I use "we" and "us" a lot, and that's because I was in their shoes, and they see me, and they're like, "Wow. If he can do it, I can do it.''
There's a half-million kids in foster care, and people need to have a better understanding of where kids like myself come from. Not all kids deserve the (label) that people put on them: being a negative influence and not wanting to do anything. I was one of those kids who wanted to do and was very willing. Unless you go through it, you'll never fully understand it. Having a better understanding would change so many lives.
Social workers and people who see "The Blind Side" and who read the book are starting to understand: If I change this, and we do this different here, it can be a better place for everybody -- and the transition could be amazing.
In your book you take exception to scenes in the movie where the Touhys teach you football concepts. What do you want people to know about you, that might be different from the movie?
Oher: I really didn't have too many problems with the movie, but probably the football part of it. I have always understood the game of football. Sports is all I had growing up so I took pride in it. And I'm a guy who was always proud of myself and wanting to learn.
You say you don't consider yourself a celebrity, but millions of people have read books or seen a movie based on your life. What image do you hope to convey?
Oher: I don't see myself as a celebrity, but I understand that people do look up to me. That's what I'm trying to do -- send out a positive image. And I love letting people know that I'm just a regular person; I do the same things that you do.
I think a lot of people who are in the limelight, they get it confused. I don't want to be that person. I'm just like everybody else and sending that type of message helps people so much faster.
You write about kids in foster care who write to you. Is that sometimes difficult?
Oher: It is sad. Unfortunately, a lot of people are going through it, and that's everyday life. You see things on TV, and you say, "Wow. Is it really like that?" Yeah, it is like that. I lived it. And that's what I'm trying to change.
