This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon, April 16, 2013 - Brittany Jordan was a sophomore at Fort Zumwalt West High School when she was blindsided by bullies.
Browsing online, Jordan stumbled upon a MySpace page dedicated to her humiliation. The posts called her “fat,” “slut” and “skank.” “The world would be better off without you,” another read. She was horrified to see her face pasted above naked bodies. Then she saw something that hurt even more.
“Some of my friends were ‘friends’ with that page and they were ‘liking’ the pictures,” Jordan says.
Jordan, now 20, believes an ex’s new girlfriend was responsible for the slurs and images that made her a target all over again at school the next day.
“They all laughed and pointed at me,” she says. “I felt betrayed and alone.”
Staging cyber-bullying
The prevalence of online taunting toward kids like Brittany Jordan is the reason Shakespeare Festival St. Louis created “Winning Juliet,” a play about cyber-bullying. It joins the touring “Quick Delight 12th Night” in the Festival’s anti-bullying crusade.
According to statistics from the Cyber Bullying Research Center, approximately 24 percent of students ages 10 to 18 have been cyber-bullied. Seventeen percent admit to participating in activities such as posting mean comments or spreading rumors online.
“Winning Juliet” begins with students of the fictitious Stratford High chatting online about the next day’s announcement of the school play. Later, they post about a new girl, Julie, calling her “wormish,” “loser” and “hot mess.” Someone creates a fake Facebook page that looks like it’s Julie’s, and writes hateful comments about gay people. Julie’s hard-pressed to prove it’s not hers.
The goal of “Winning Juliet,” to be presented at Clayton High School April 27-May 5, with four performances for the public, is to start a conversation about cyber-bullying. Tales from the trenches were instrumental in creating the play, according to director Emily Kohring of Grand Center Academy, who was involved in discussions with students from three local high schools.
“There was hardly a student we talked to who didn’t have a story to share about something that happened to them on the internet,” Kohring says.
From suicidal to survivor
One of the most well-known local cyber-bullying tragedies involved Megan Meier, who, like Brittany Jordan, went to school in the Fort Zumwalt district. Weeks away from her 14th birthday, braces still on her teeth, the middle schooler hung herself in her closet after an online assault in 2006.
Two years after her daughter’s death, Megan’s mother Tina Meier visited Jordan in the hospital after each of Jordan’s two suicide attempts.
Jordan took an overdose of medicine after friends piled onto the cruel prank. After her parents saw her throwing up, they rushed her to the hospital. A few weeks after she was released, they came home to find her trying to hang herself. Not long after that, Jordan had more suicidal thoughts, and returned to the hospital again for more intervention including counseling.
Through it all, the MySpace page stayed up for two and a half months. During this period, even the support of a single friend against her tormenters might have helped, Jordan says.
“If one of my friends had come to me and said, ‘This is wrong,’ maybe I would have been OK,” Jordan says.
After moving to Holt High School in Wentzville, Jordan encountered no bullying incidents. She made some new friends, and graduated. But relationships with girls are still difficult today because she finds it hard to trust them.
“You tell them your life’s story and they could turn on you. It could happen all over again,” Jordan says.
Even so, things are good, overall. Recently, Jordan finished cosmetology school and is looking forward to finding a position. She takes pride in being a survivor, and wants to help others. She appeared with Tina Meier on a CBS news segment about bullying shortly after her suicide attempts.
“I look back and think, ‘Wow, how did I get so low?’” Jordan says.
It’s impossible to know whether the atmosphere or policies at Jordan’s new school in Wentzville made a difference in her easier time there. Jordan says she and her parents asked the Fort Zumwalt district to look into the MySpace incident but Jordan says they were told the district could do nothing because it happened away from school property.
Fort Zumwalt officials declined to comment on the Jordan case. Privacy issues prevent the school from talking about any steps that may or may not have been taken, according to deputy superintendent Patty Corum. Should the same issue arise today, Fort Zumwalt would investigate and offer counseling, Corum says, and refer the matter to police if threats seem serious.
Getting parents on board
Bullying at or away from school is addressed in the Wentzville district, according to assistant superintendent of administrative services Melody Marcantonio. If a parent says their child was bullied on Twitter, Facebook or other social media, they’re asked to bring in printouts of the exchange. Wentzville officials look for ways in which the incident may be connected to school.
If there’s a school component, there will be consequences for the student who composed the threatening message. For example, someone might write, “I’m going to jump you after second hour.” But making a judgment call can involve a lot of conjecture.
“If it impacts activity at school, if a child truly felt threatened ... if, if, if,” Marcantonio says. “It’s a thin line.”
Another difficult issue is parental mindsets. “They may say, ‘Well, that’s just how boys talk to each other,” Marcantonio says.
Often, parents don't know their child is being bullied. Kids can be notoriously tight-lipped about having trouble at school or in their social arenas. Jessica Brawley, who works with families in her communications position with the Foster & Adoptive Care Coalition, tells parents to watch for changing behaviors.
“They need to look for grade slipping, acting out and spending a lot of time online,” Brawley says. “If they’re being bullied online, you wouldn’t think they’d want to stay online but it seems they want to go on even more.”
Like Fort Zumwalt officials, Wentzville administrators would also contact police regarding an incident like Jordan’s, likely a school resource officer. Jason Horvath is the resource officer at Wentzville Middle School. He spends two or three hours every day dealing with cyber-bullying issues. In his six years, fewer than 10 kids have actually been charged, usually with harassment.
Most of the time, having a police officer call kids in for a conversation is enough to nip a situation in the bud. When Horvath lets parents know that they could be prosecuted because the cell phones, computers and service providers are in their names, they quickly get on board.
“Once I get the parents on my side, the bullying usually goes away,” Horvath says.
Wentzville staff, including custodians and bus drivers, are required to watch a bullying prevention video online each year. Students have prevention training every semester. None of this is mandated by the state, Marcantonio says.
Wentzville is one of a handful of local school districts to purchase a confidential cyber-bullying hotline service from the GroupCast company in Sunset Hills, which also provides other web-based communications such as school closing notifications.
But more than technology, attitudes are what make a difference when it comes to preventing bullying, cyber or otherwise, according to Marcantonio.
“It’s about, ‘How do you treat each other with respect?’” Marcantonio says. “We’re setting up a culture that respects the individual.”
