This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon, March 1, 2011 - As a mother of 10, an activist and a refugee of the ethnic violence that tore apart the Democratic Republic of Congo in the late 1990s, Rose Mapendo struggles to find balance in her life.
Her story is illustrated in "Pushing the Elephant," which will be screened Thursday at the Missouri History Museum. The film documents Mapendo's humanitarian work and her efforts to care for her family, particularly her daughter Nangabire, who was separated from the family for 13 years.
As ethnic violence engulfed Congo, Mapendo and her family were arrested and sent to a Congolese prison camp. Targeted for being Banyamulenge Tutsis, a minority ethnic group, they spent 16 months in a death camp. In the camp, Mapendo's husband was executed, she gave birth to twins on the floor of a dark cell with no running water, and the family had to negotiate with prison guards to save the life of the eldest son.
"This is what happens to people during war," Mapendo laments in the film.
Mapendo and her family fled to Phoenix, Ariz., in 2000, but one child was left behind. Nangabire had been living with her grandparents and was not able to leave Congo with her family. Mapendo eventually found her daughter in a refugee camp in Kenya, and after 13 years of separation, Nangabire was reunited with her family in Phoenix.
"There was no time, and she was so far away," Mapendo says of Nangabire in the film.
Their joy at being reunited is not without trial, as Mapendo must help Nangabire reconnect with her large family and adjust to a new language and culture.
Directors Beth Davenport and Elizabeth Mandel use the film to explore the long-term effects of war on women and their families. They also explore what it means to become an active advocate for a peaceful future by following Mapendo's humanitarian efforts.
Mapendo emerged from her experience as a refugee advocating reconciliation and forgiveness for her war-torn nation. She assists in the resettlement of other Congolese refugees and travels back to Africa to speak to women in Congo.
"One person alone cannot push an elephant, but many people together can push an elephant," Mapendo tells a group of village women in the Democratic Republic of Congo. She speaks to plant the seeds of empowerment, to encourage other women to become active in making their voices heard. To Mapendo, forgiveness means letting go of the burden of vengeance and hatred.
She has spent years teaching fellow Congolese women about the power of forgiveness. Now, she must teach her own daughter. "Nangabire is coming here to start her life," Mapendo says. "A life of happiness and not pain."
The free event is part of the Community Cinema Series, a partnership between the History Museum and The Nine Network (KETC). A panel discussion will follow.
One of those panelists will be Sister Jean Abbott, founder of the Center for Survivors of Torture and War Trauma, who said,
"In Africa you saw the complete squelching of the womens' voice. The raping of the women in the Congo is the ultimate silencing of women, I've lived with some African women, having a child defines them, far more than having a husband, so ripping apart these women is ripping apart their identity."
Abbott also noted that "one of the reasons (Mapendo) healed from terror is because she started to move out of herself and see that same terror in others and started to work for them. My opinion that altruism and working for the sake of others is the greatest healer. (Mapendo) did that and she modeled it."
Erika Miller, a senior at Saint Louis University, is a Beacon intern.