Randall Siddens was a “live life to the fullest” kind of guy: a collector of hobbies and easy maker of friends. He loved learning new music and enjoyed running and the outdoors. He even donated a kidney to a stranger after learning about the need for living organ donors. He was married to his high school sweetheart and was a father of two young kids, with a third on the way in 2019.
One morning that May, he was working at a triathlon near the University of Missouri-Columbia when a speeding driver swerved into the racecourse and crashed into him. The driver had been on a FaceTime video chat on her cellphone.
“She was going to hurt somebody that day. It just happened to be my husband,” said Randall Siddens’ wife, Adrienne Siddens.
He never regained consciousness and died in November — a month after his youngest daughter was born.
“So he got to meet her,” she said. “I'm a widow. I have three kids. They lost their dad because of distracted driving.”
The driver was ultimately sentenced to 10 years in prison in 2021. As Siddens discussed the justice process with attorneys and local prosecutors, she learned that Missouri didn’t have a law banning phone use behind the wheel for those over age 21.
“She technically was not doing anything illegal,” Siddens said of the driver’s phone use. “But [Randall] wasn't doing anything wrong — he shouldn't have died. But because this law says it's OK for her to do that, my husband lost his life.”
Siddens didn’t initially aim to share her story, especially during those early stages of grief. But when the Missouri chapter of AAA reached out and asked if she would contribute to its distracted driving awareness campaign, she didn’t hesitate.
“It’s something that, if Randall had lived, he would have jumped at and he would have done,” said Siddens. “And so I was like, ‘You know what? I'm going to share his story.’”
That’s when she began meeting with others in the Missouri Hands Free driving coalition and getting involved with an effort to ban drivers’ phone use.
“They didn't have to convince me because I was glad they were working towards change, especially when I realized how lax and how basically vacant the law was.”
After three years of advocacy and trips by the Siddens family to the Missouri Capitol, the law was officially signed in August 2023. Enforcement with penalties and fines began Jan. 1.
Dubbed the Siddens Bening Hands Free law — the measure is named in part for Randall Siddens and in part for Michael Bening, a 46-year-old who was hit and killed by a suspected distracted driver in Cass County in 2021.
Siddens said the bill’s name, the work of fellow advocates in the Missouri Hands Free coalition, came as a surprise.
“Myself and Stephany Bening, we'd shown up. We had advocated a lot, we had done a lot of sharing our personal stories to effect the change,” she said.
One of the compromises required to get the bill passed was downgrading its enforcement from primary to secondary. That means a driver needs to be pulled over for something else, such as speeding, before an officer can also issue a ticket for phone use. Siddens said she and other advocates were disappointed by that, but she hopes the secondary enforcement is enough to make a difference.
“It will save lives,” she said. “And that's the ultimate goal.”
Critics have also pointed to distractions the law doesn’t outlaw, such as eating or adjusting dashboard controls. Siddens said that misses the point.
“Use some common sense. Think about it: If you shouldn't be texting and video chatting and watching movies and doing all these things on your phone, should you be rummaging around in the back seat?” she said. “Just be safe. Don't take driving for granted.”
To those drivers who say they’re “good at” phone use, or are able to safely handle a cellphone behind the wheel — think again. That feeling is based on the positive reinforcement of "getting away with something" that can ultimately be dangerous, Siddens said.
“How many times did [the driver who struck Randall] get away with doing exactly what she was doing that day and didn't cause a problem?” she said. “It's a false sense of security, and it only takes once.”
The process of advocating for change has been exhausting but cathartic for Siddens.
“Being able to share and talk about [Randall] is actually helpful,” she said. “And, sure, I don't really want to share about the worst day of our lives, but if it can save other people, and if it can help effect change, again, that's what Randall would have wanted.”
To hear an extended version of Abby Llorico’s conversation with Adrienne Siddens, listen to St. Louis on the Air on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or click the play button below.
