Styx Nappier finally recognized themselves in the mirror at 15 years old. They had experimented with different pronouns, clothing styles and hair colors. Then, a haircut nearly solidified the gender transition. But Nappier’s hair grew, and they lost themselves again.
“At the time, I didn't have the confidence to cut it shorter,” Nappier said. “I'd go to my hairstylist and ask her to cut it a little bit shorter, but it was still longer than what I wanted.”
Four years later, Nappier still tries to feel at home in their body. Their most recent attempt at gender affirmation happened in their backyard in Washington. They thought a local hairdresser couldn’t — or wouldn’t — cut their hair the way they envisioned.
“In my hometown, there's not really any stylists that I feel comfortable with telling I’m trans,” Nappier said. “My hair was about shoulder length, and it was killing me. I was struggling to look at myself and accept it.”
There aren’t any trans-friendly hair salons in Franklin County, according to Strands for Trans, a national directory of queer-friendly hair salons. The directory lists more than 30 salons in the St. Louis area, one in Rolla and two in the Quincy-Hannibal region.
Homegrown Hair Co. in Tower Grove South is one of them. Caitlin Tyczka opened the salon after noticing discrimination in other workplaces.
“We do have somebody for everyone,” Tyczka said. “You could get your hair permed here, braided here and curly hair colored safely. Across the board on all of our services, general inclusivity to all people.”
Rango Estralla, salon receptionist, matches clients with stylists based on their desired hair length, rather than adhering to gendered terms. She’s experienced gender-based separation in the salon industry but said Homegrown feels different.
“People come in not feeling like themselves,” Estralla said. “And one of the reasons why I stay here is seeing the smile that they leave with. I have clients that have to book under different names, but we know them by the name that they go by when they come here.”
Every haircut starts with a lengthy consultation from an “unlicensed therapist,” as stylist Vik Voss calls themself.
“When someone starts going through a transitional period of their life, and exploring gender, whether that be off of the binary or on, we see a lot of people growing their hair out or cutting it all off,” Voss said. “It is a lot easier, and more financially savvy, to change your hair than to buy a whole new wardrobe.”
It’s not for a lack of money that Sam Slate waited to get a gender-affirming haircut. He had an established career — but he wanted a supportive barber in a comfortable setting, something he couldn’t find in a small town.
“It wasn't until I actually transitioned that I went to the barber,” Slate said. “In some ways, the clothes were easier. I couldn't just walk right in and be like, ‘Give me a boys haircut.’ That just was not going to be smart.”
He found a queer barber on social media, one that worked in a traditional-style barber shop. Slate said his barber saw him for what he’d always been, “just a dude that wants a haircut.”
“It was everything about it, from the way that it smelled, to the tools that he used, to the other clientele in the shop,” Slate said. “All of it was affirming. Not just the haircut, every part of the experience.”
Slate has moved since then, but he found a similar shop in St. Louis. He gets a fresh fade from Benny DeLaPorte at Union Barbershop every three weeks.
“I take myself out of it. It's not about me, it's all about them,” DeLaPorte said. “They come here; they're paying for a service. They deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.”
