Edwardsville educator, writer and Native Hawaiian Stephanie Malia Krauss remembers the moment her 10-year-old son Koa pointed to his name tag and happily said, “Look, Mom … I’m me!”
For Krauss, his words were a sudden reminder of how hard it can be for people of any age to be themselves when they’re so used to being the “onlys” where they live, go to school, work or play.
That’s a reality that Krauss and her two young children experience as “onlys” living in southern Illinois. In the St. Louis area, the population of residents who identify as Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander – grouped together despite distinct histories and cultures – is so small, the U.S. Census Bureau resorts to using letters instead of numbers: “Z” for “greater than zero but less than half unit of measure.” Where there is a figure, it’s 0.01%.
With numbers like that, Krauss’s boys, Justice Hi’ilani and Harrison Koali’i, have few sources that affirm their Hawaiian identity in the community around them: “My husband and I recognized early on that any introduction to our culture, heritage and language was going to have to happen at home,” Krauss said.
To make that happen, Krauss needed help. The backup came from her mother, Laurie Nalani Kilstein, who left New Jersey to move near her daughter’s family in Edwardsville. At home with them, she could help ensure her grandsons would grow up with Hawaiian language, food, customs, and stories … and prepare them for eventual travel to the islands.
Kilstein reflected on her experience as a mother bringing her children up on the mainland. She told St. Louis on the Air that she prioritized taking them to Hawaii regularly, even though money was scarce. That determination, she said, lay in showing them their roots.
“When raising my daughter and her four brothers, I made a point to go back to Hawaii one to three times a year… my entire family was still there,” Kilstein said. “It was the most important thing to me to take them, teach them about Hawaiian culture, show them Hawaii and give them that sense of ‘aloha’ and meet their great-grandparents.”
Following her mother’s example, Krauss made her first trip to Hawaii with her two boys last year. She described the trip in a forthcoming essay for Insider, as well as several parts of her newly released book, “Whole Child, Whole Life.” That initial trip made it clear that, for Krauss’ family, regular visits for them all will be crucial to maintaining cultural connection, confidence and vitality.
Part of that owes to the lack of other Native Hawaiians in the St. Louis area. But another, perhaps larger, part of it stems from being “kanaka maoli,” or indigenous Hawaiian.
“‘Hawai’i,’ the word, breaks up to translate partially as ‘breath’ and partially as ‘You are the land, and the land is you,’” Krauss said. “So there is a connection, not just to culture, but to place and actually being on the land. That means I have to get my boys to the land. And I want as many trips as possible for all of the generations together, to recognize that culture is both powerful and fragile.”
For more about the ways Stephanie Malia Krauss, her kids and her mom have built a strong sense of Native Hawaiian culture and identity where they are “onlys,” and to learn what makes aloha in the Midwest contagious yet challenging, listen to St. Louis on the Air on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcast or Stitcher or by clicking the play button below.
“St. Louis on the Air” brings you the stories of St. Louis and the people who live, work and create in our region. The show is produced by Miya Norfleet, Emily Woodbury, Danny Wicentowski and Alex Heuer. Ulaa Kuziez is our production intern. The audio engineer is Aaron Doerr.
