Before he introduced her to his father, Danny Jacobs sat his fiancée down for a talk. She needed to be prepared for his father to ask her things — personal things. He would want to know her birth date and phone number. He would ask her about her high school friends. He would keep pushing.
And if she tries to push back? He warned her, “You will end up not only penniless but emotionally bankrupt.”
The conversation happened more than a decade in the past. The fiancée is now Danny Jacobs’ wife. His father, Richard Jacobs, died in 2015. But that talk has stayed with him. It is the opening scene of the new podcast “How to Destroy Everything.” Re-created by Danny Jacobs and actor Roxanne Ortega, the scene is part of his attempt to make sense of the wreckage Richard Jacobs left behind in St. Louis.
“I couldn't do this when he was alive,” Danny Jacobs told St. Louis on the Air. “I had to wait until he passed away, partly because of a fear that I would get sued, partly because of a fear of the chaos that he might create in my life.”
Before Danny Jacobs finally cut ties with his father, Richard Jacobs’ behavior had already led to the end of a lengthy legal career and marriage. For the son, investigating his father’s life in St. Louis isn’t just about answering long-simmering questions but about finding a way to move on.
“I'm a father now. I've got a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old,” Danny Jacobs said. “I'm trying to process the trauma from my childhood and understand it. It's taken on a greater importance as I've started to think about my own parenting, and also [there’s] a lurking concern, like, is there an aspect of who my dad was that I have? Is there an aspect of who my dad was, that is somewhere in my own children? And so it's really an urgent desire to understand him and everything he was.”
Danny Jacobs and his co-creators, Darren Grodsky and Joel Peissig, released the first episode of “How to Destroy Everything” in August. The next episode will feature Danny Jacobs returning to his childhood home where he discovers evidence of his father’s schemes. Jacobs and the team are also asking the public to contact them with stories of Richard Jacobs by emailing: iknowrichardjacobs@gmail.com.
To hear more from “How to Destroy Everything” creators Danny Jacobs and Darren Grodsky, including a clip from the first episode, listen to St. Louis on the Air on Apple Podcast, Spotify or Google Podcast or by clicking the play button below.
“St. Louis on the Air” brings you the stories of St. Louis and the people who live, work and create in our region. The show is produced by Miya Norfleet, Emily Woodbury, Danny Wicentowski, Elaine Cha and Alex Heuer. Ulaa Kuziez is our production assistant. The audio engineer is Aaron Doerr. Send questions and comments about this story to talk@stlpr.org.
