Keisha Acres’ life changed forever on Oct. 24, 2022. That day, the St. Louis mother lost her 15-year-old daughter, Alexzandria Bell, who was killed by a gunman during an attack at Central Visual and Performing Arts High School in south St. Louis.
“It's been a real roller coaster and … a lot of dark, dark days,” she said, reflecting on the past year of mourning. “I don't go outside as much. If I do leave my home, it’s to handle business, go grocery shopping or go to work. And then I'm back in the house.”
Abbey Kuczka was also deeply affected by the events of that day. Her mother, health and education teacher Jean Kuczka, also was killed in the shooting. The loss, she said, has altered how she feels in public. She often finds herself evaluating her surroundings for threats.
“I definitely see people [differently],” she said. “Because humans are unpredictable, and you really never know what's going to happen. … It takes the fun out of different situations. So you know, there's a big group of people at a concert — could somebody sneak a gun in? Probably. And so, I'm looking at my escape route and how I would get myself out of this situation if tragedy was to occur.”
Nearly one year after the shooting, Kuczka and Acres joined St. Louis on the Air to share their reflections and their hopes for the future.
“[Alexzandria] had [just] started to learn who she was, and [she] valued herself, and I want the other kids to be just the same,” Acres said. “Start to realize who you are and that you matter — just like she did — and push for everything it is that you want. Push for things even when you want to give up. Push because she can't push.”
Both Acres and Abbey Kuzcka emphasized how they want people to take the country’s growing mental health crisis more seriously
“My hope would be that people become more conscious of what comes out of their mouth and more conscious of other people's feelings,” Acres said. “Some people are taught to bottle their feelings up, fold them up and put them in your pocket. And that's when you create many storms and disastrous situations like October 24. I just want people … to be more compassionate and pay attention because that one moment you decide to stop and pay attention could be the very reason someone doesn't lose their life or a person doesn’t go on a shooting rampage.”
On the day she died, Jean Kuczka’s chalkboard displayed one goal: for students to have a personal, personalized mental health kit by the end of class.
“My mom was really big on mental health,” Abbey Kuczka said. “I think she would [want to] bring awareness that mental illness is a real situation and when people are suffering from a mental health crisis, that they really do need help. … People need to recognize the signs of mental [illness] and take it seriously. … Take time to talk with that person and do not dismiss their actions.”
Acres said working with young people — “focusing on their needs, and trying to keep them grounded and as clear minded as possible” — is now a driving force for her. In addition to staying in close contact with students at CVPA, Acres works at University City High School. She’s also started working to build a youth center in Alexzandria’s memory.
“I want the children to have a home away from home where they're free to be themselves, free to be safe and know that when they're there, they can speak their truth — and someone always be willing to listen and sit down with them,” she said. “My daughter can't do a lot of things that she had planned on or had set out to do, so my job now is to make her proud of me as much as I feel like she would be.
“My biggest thing is: Do it because she can't,” Acres added.
For more reflections from Keisha Acres and Abbey Kuczka, listen to St. Louis on the Air on Apple Podcast, Spotify or Google Podcast, or by clicking the play button below.
Related Event
What: Talent Showcase presented by the Alexzandria Bell Foundation
When: 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Nov. 18
Where: Central Visual and Performing Arts High School’s theater (3125 S. Kingshighway, St. Louis, MO 63139)
“St. Louis on the Air” brings you the stories of St. Louis and the people who live, work and create in our region. The show is produced by Miya Norfleet, Emily Woodbury, Danny Wicentowski, Elaine Cha and Alex Heuer. Ulaa Kuziez is our production intern. The audio engineer is Aaron Doerr. Send questions and comments about this story to talk@stlpr.org.
